It is about 10 years now that my picture perfect life turned into a train wreck, or so I thought at the time. I found myself suddenly alone. Life and my future as I had planned it and always thought it would be was suddenly empty. It was a crazy time for me.
I am sure several of you have been through it.
This is just a random reflection of the past.
I was alone for 5 years, and really enjoying it after I got used to getting rid of mice and spiders who liked to live with me…eeks… and then out of the kindness of my heart took in a homeless relative so he could get back on his feet financially (which he never did), but even then I came home from work to a thank you note. He decided to go back home. That was about 5 months ago, and the peace and tranquility that are back in my life after 4 years of sharing my house is amazing.
You never know what life has in store for you. That is the mystery. I think of the Serenity prayer, and learn to accept what you can not change. I think of how much I have and feel joy in each day and like to listen to the sounds of nature more than the sounds of motorcycles racing down my street.
The most difficult part of being alone is when you get tossed into it unexpectedly. You tend to feel like a person just thrown overboard into a raging sea, and you do not know what to grab, but you know you need a life line, just something to hold onto or you are going to drown as a victim of your circumstances.
There is no shame in crying when you face a loss that leaves you alone. This can be from a person or a pet. Do not run to the doctor for anti depressants or the the bar to drink away the pain.
If you never live through the pain, you will never start to heal, and a part of you will be buried forever.
Life is a series of experiences. Like they say, what does not kill us makes us stronger. I hope this might help someone along the way.
Beautiful my dear friend. My life took quite a turn in late 1998…I was alone, but with three children to finish raising and only a part time job to do it with. So, I worked two jobs and a double shift to take care of all of us….and I did! Not once did I take a penny from our government either. We can choose to be victims or survivors with whatever life throws our way. I; like you; choose to survive. And, you know what? You and I are who we are today because of our heartaches and happiness, all these things sculpted us into the strong, amazing women we are today. I am proud and honored to call you my friend. I love you dearly~ M
Margaret, thanks for taking the time to post this reply. You are a very dedicated parent and always working. You always treat people like you have an unending supply of energy and unlimited time to listen to their joys and sorrows. Through it all you have that incredible sense of humor.
I am very happy that our paths have crossed.
I feel the same. Thanks for all this mushy stuff. Now I need a moment.